Freedom is Real

It's been way too long... and so much has happened since I last wrote.  IMPACT 360 ended on May 13th, and this summer I worked with "Propel My Life", a group made up of IMPACT 360 alumni with a desire to share what they learned at the gap-year program with highschoolers at camps across the country.  My team had the privilage of teaching in Georgia, Tennessee, and Texas, sharing worldview and leadership with both Student Life and Camp Chaparral students. 

Having never taught a class before, this was a new adventure, and one that I absolutely loved.  The students engaged well with the material, and I was able to build relationships with so many young Christians.  Their heart for God, and love for eachother inspired and challenged me.  I'm so glad God gave me this opportunity... I could sense His hand on this program.

This summer, I participated in four different camp sessions, all the while hearing about the mission trips of many of my friends, as well as my own brothers... and it has me thinking... 

Camp.  Mission trips.  It's what Christian youth do these days.  When many of these students come home from their trips, they are on fire for God.  They've spent a week, or maybe a few weeks, learning about God and His Word... and worshipping Him.  They make big decisions and turn back to God.  Then they go home and, a week later, become the exact same person they were before.  Why?  Was their decision real?  I used to think it wasn't... that kids just got caught up in the hype of a good worship song... but now I'm beginning to wonder.

One night, Camp Chaparral held a prayer meeting.  They asked students who had certain sin struggles or problems to walk to the front of the room to pray.  After only about 45 minutes, there were kids kneeling at the front of the room sobbing.  This had happened the week before as well.  That's when I realized that many of these students have deeper needs and hurts than I could ever imagine.  After getting to know some of the students, this was confirmed  I talked to two teens who had tried to commit suicide, one who had been addicted to drugs, and multiple students with broken families.  What if camp is the only chance that these students get to admit that they need something?  What if camp is the only place where they can talk to people about struggles at home?  What if camp is where they feel God's love for the first time?  What if camp is their only glimpse of they way Christian community is supposed to be? 

They go home, and Satan begins to lie to them.  He tells them that the freedom they glimpsed was not true freedom.  That life will never get better... that no one really loves them.  They doubt that their experience at camp can ever come true in their life, and believe the lies.  I used to think that students who lived one way at camp and another way at home didn't care about their faith.  That they weren't "really" commmitted to God.  Well, God is beginning to show me that reality is deeper than that.  As I have begun to see this struggle in individuals close to me, I realize there is more to the story.

God wants to use me to draw the hurting towards Him.  I can be that person outside of camp who shows them love.  Their reminder that freedom is possible... and real.  God calls me to minister to widows and orphans... A kid with abusive parents is an orphan.  A student who can only find escape and love at camp is an orphan.  And God has put people in my life that I can lead towards the freedom and protection of Christ.  What an opportunity!

"...He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry.  The Lord sets prisoners free, the Lord gives sight to the blind, the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down, the Lord loves the righteous  The Lord watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow... The Lord reigns forever, your God, O Zion, for all generations.  Praise the Lord."  Ps. 146:7-10

I Heard the Voice of One Man Crying

A poem I wrote during solitude time at Callaway Gardens… during the New Testament class.  

I heard the Voice of One Man Crying

I heard the voice of one man crying

And in that voice the agony and screams of a multitude

Without number, black, white, yellow

Crying under the weight of oppression

An unseen groan, bending the ground beneath them,

And the wood behind him.

Such pain

All attention was fixed on him

All history

Past

Present

Future

Focused on one hope, one chance

The only chance

And suddenly the cry ceased.

In that one silence, the silence of a multitude

The pain of thousands

Cold encircled him, and fear them.

His hand releasing, receiving

His pain outpouring

His blood flowed over the multitude

They partook of his pain

And became whole in Him

I saw light emanating from that darkness

From one man, touching every feature of the multitude

No longer trapped in pain

No longer flooded with dispair

No longer covered in blood

As beautiful and white as snow.

I heard the voice of one man crying

Yet in that cry the songs and joy of a multitude

Without number, black, white, yellow

Singing the songs of freedom

An unseen hope lighting the ground beneath them

And the sky behind him

Such love

All attention was fixed on him

All history

Past

Present

Future

Focused on one hope, one chance
Taken

Given

I heard a voice of one man singing

And in that joy, the songs of a multitude.

Brazil

  

Our group’s trip to Brazil was an unforgettable experience in which I grew closer to Christ, was able to watch Him work, and saw many lives touched through His power. 

I could give story after story of all that our team saw God do, but one highlight will have to suffice:

            At the beginning of our trip, we were introduced to our bus driver, Paulo.  During the first week, one of the missionaries with us was able to share the gospel with him, and came home telling us the story, saying, “That was the closest I’ve ever seen someone come to accepting Christ, and decide not to.”  From that night on, we prayed earnestly for this man… that he would come to know the freedom and joy that can be found in a relationship with Christ.  Because he was our driver every day, we were able to spend time with him, and began to develop a relationship with him.  He began coming out of his bus to watch us work, and eventually even helped us!  One day he brought his daughter along so that we could meet her.  We loved watching his heart for people, and love for his daughter. (The picture is of the two of them)

            On our last day in Brazil, as we drove to the airport, the bus pulled over on the side of the road.  One of our leaders was in the front talking to Paulo through a translator, and we watched as tears streamed down his face.  When we arrived at the airport, Paulo came to the back of the bus, and was introduced as, “Your new brother in Christ.”

            Through Paulo, we were able to see God work even after our last “church service” was over.  He will continue to move powerfully in Brazil through the missionaries there, as well as the country’s newest Christians.  Thank you so much for your prayers, and please keep these believers in them as well!

Un-masked

Masks.  Almost all of us have them.  They hide our insecurities, they show others what we want them to see, and they allow us to be who we want to be, but they keep us from the very things we want most: To be known, and loved. What will it take for our maks to disappear?

After reading TrueFaced, our class is taking this week to learn the answer to this question.  I typically don't take time to think deeply about what I read... this book was different.  I saw myself in the examples described.  I saw truths that, if I could apply to my life, would change the way I see others and provide freedom I have seldomly, if ever, experienced. 

TrueFaced is about just that: being true faced; being yourself.  The more I digested this book, the more I realized how many masks I have picked up.  I want to look good and be accepted by others.  I strive to do what's right in order to please God.  I've decided that if I am to do well in this world, I'll just have to cover up my problems.  I live as if I can fix myself... after all, I can do it on my own.  This is okay, right?  After all, shouldn't I be trying to please God?

While I should desire to honor God, what is the motive behind this desire?  Too often it is, "So He will be happy with me."  This view of God not only hurts my relationship with Him, but the way others relate to me.  They begin to feel like they have to perform in order to please God and be loved by others.

Eph. 2:8-9 states, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this not from ourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast."  This same grace I received at salvation is the grace God offers now.  And it is the only way I can truly overcome my sin patterns.

I have to realize that no matter how much I mess up, God is pleased with me.  I don't have to perform for Him, because He has already accepted me for who I am... a saint.  As soon as I believe His definition of me, I am issued into incredible grace and freedom, and begin to live this truth with the people around me.  Only God's grace and strength will overcome my sin and allow others to know me. 

This week, I hope our class realizes who God says we are.  When we do, the masks we have created before God and one another will begin to drop.  We will accept each other dispite sin, frustrations, and awkwardness; and we will realize that it is when we allow others to see us, that we can be truly loved.

First Semester

As I prepare to leave for Thanksgiving break, I am surprised at how fast the first semester has flown by.  With only two weeks left, I have begun to ask myself:  Am I accomplishing what I set out to do?  The answer is both yes, and no.

When I arrived at Impact 360, my number one goal was to find out what form of missions God is calling me to.  I would learn to hear God's voice, and then He would tell me where my future is going.  During my time here, however, I have realized that while seeking God's will is good, often it is revealed step by step.  I can use this year to learn academically, develop deep relationships with my fellow students, and spend time seeking God, or I can focus all my energy on hearing God's voice, and get frustrated when I don't.

As our group leaves for Brazil, my focus must be in the right place.  If I spend the whole month only trying to discern God's call for me in missions, I will miss out on incredible opportunities to reach out to the Brazilian people, and to develop deeper relationships with my own team members.  God is focused on accomplishing His purposes, not my desires, and I should be willing to jump on board.  Our team will emerge from this experience with a much deeper understanding of the world around us, as well as lessons we will remember for a lifetime.

God has already used Impact to develop my experience in relating to and getting to know other people.  He has also broadened my knowledge of the Bible, different worldviews, poverty, economics, and so much more.  This semester has opened my eyes in many areas, and in that, I am accomplishing just what I planned... but more importantly, what He planned.

The New Testament... Not Simply Head Knowledge

I was asked to write the blog for Impact 360 this week, and decided to use it here as well.  Hopefully it will give you an idea of the classes we have been taking, and the depth to which God is taking us.

This week, I learned so much.  When we began studying the New Testament, I had no idea we would end up drawing circular designs, listening to music, and spending time at Callaway Gardens, but through this time, I realized the New Testament isn't just about head knowledge.

While explaining the history of the gospels, Pastor Greg Brown revealed how these books are each unique because of the differences in character of their authors.  God worked through these individuals to accomplish His plan.  And in this purpose, God's quest for man, He seeks intimacy with His creation.  Much of this week was spent studying emotional intimacy with God, as developed in the Kingdom Triangle, by J.P. Moreland.  Often, we attempt to cut out our emotions in fear that they will rule us.  As a result, we are unable to use them for good.  However, it is only when we don't control emotions that they go wrong.  In keeping with this idea, we practiced expressing our emotions on paper by creating mandalas.  By the end of the week, class was filled with incredible drawings.

 On Wednesday, the group took a trip to Callaway Gardens to spend half an hour alone with God.  We had been given a series of pictures of Jesus crucifixion to meditate on, and many of us used both our mind and emotions in writing poems about what we saw.  It was good to spend time meditating on what God has done for us, and some of the students returned later that evening for a longer stretch of time.

 This week was refreshing.  Not only because we were back on campus, but because we learned how to incorporate our emotions into what we do.  I hope we, as students, can take this knowledge, and use it during both our individual and corporate devotions.  God calls us to love Him with everything we have... and that includes our hearts.

Overload

How do I begin?  The past few weeks have been full to overflowing with classes, ministries, and hands-on learning opportunities.  First, our group ministered to individuals living in an apartment complex in Atlanta.  We spent the night in a host church before putting on a block party for the whole neighborhood.  We offered face painting, snow cones, cotton candy, popcorn, music, bracelet making, and free lunch.  In addition, we told bible stories, and I as well as a couple other students had the opportunity to share our testimonies.

Another weekend we worked with "City of Refuge", a homeless shelter in Atlanta.  We prepared for their upcoming fall festival, handing out fliers in the neighborhood and setting up the room.  We also helped fix up a house, and spent time with the people there.

This past week, our group traveled to SIFAT (Servants In Faith And Technology).  We were taken to an area filled with reproductions of houses from countries like Nigeria, Nepal, Bolivia, and the Philippines.  Taking only our sleeping bags, we stayed in these "countries" for the night, cooking our beans and rice over a fire.  The next day we learned about basic technologies that are transforming third world countries, such as bio-sand filters and fuel-efficient cook stoves.

One unforgettable memory from SIFAT was our "Slums Experience".  Around 8:00 the second night, we were divided into families, given roles to play, and led into a reproduction of a slum.  As missionaries, my family's role was to find food, water, and shelter while helping others as much as possible.  We were offered many opportunities to make money, including selling drugs[don't worry, they were fake ;) ], prostitution [and once again, don't worry, this would have been fake :P ], and stealing, however, as missionaries, my family tended fires for many of the locals... an easy job, but many never paid us for our work.  We finally earned enough money to buy a house and, through a dishonest business dealing, lost not only our shelter, but our money.  Discouragingly, our attention was shifted to finding food.  We were given a bowl of soup by a kind family, and finally began to focus on helping others.

Towards the end of the night, I was standing in line to buy soup, when the individuals in front of me began to share Christ with the store owner.  I joined them, and the woman called for the police.  The three of us spent the rest of our time in jail, where at least we had a roof over our head.

While this wasn't a real slum, we experienced many of the same emotions of rejection, anxiety, and hopelessness as people who live there daily.  Through this trip, we gained a deeper understanding of life in third-world countries, and learned about appropriate technology that can change lives.

Needless to say, my head is swimming.  In between these adventures, we have taken classes, read books, and written papers, and although it has been tough, I have learned so much.  God is showing me more about Himself, myself, and the people around me, and I know I will be able to use these experiences for many years to come... not only to help others live daily, but to give them eternal life.